I've never worm my heart on my sleeve when it comes to my affections.
Very few of my friends (and only females) have known of my attractions
to young men. I must say I'm glad for this. I've never had to face
being rejected by a man. It's never created an awkward situation for
me. I can be friends with him still, with no fear. Nothing goes beyond
a simple friendship because there is no dance of infatuation. Most of
the time, my attraction fades, as does the guy. No harm done. Even if
he does remain, there is nothing more but a glimmer of 'what-ifs', and
I'm free to allow my fickle heart to seek out its next object, leaving
behind no broken hearts. It prevents me from using him and he from
using me. I am content to leave the pursuing to the man. I seek to
have a greater degree of friendship and fellowship with my male friends,
and I'm glad that my affections haven't gotten in the way. There's
something in me that drives me to push a man away if I develop a strong
attraction to him, which I must say, has proven beneficial in not
exposing my heart.